Unconditional Forgiveness of Yourself & Others
💚 “It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody.“~Maya Angelou
It’s a beautiful quote. Thank-you, Maya Angelou. I would just add to this quote “Forgive yourself, as well.”
I texted this quote to a friend as valuable spiritual counseling that we all can heed and be reminded of~forgiveness without exceptions or conditions.
You forgive for yourself because it is good for you and self-loving. The best way to move forward in your life is to forgive completely and unconditionally, to let go of things that are holding you back.
The Power of Symbols and Color
The green heart I added to this quote symbolizes the healing of the heart chakra in which the energy of forgiveness or nonforgiveness lies. Since my spiritual awakening in 2009, I became a strong proponent of color healing and the power of symbols. As a Reiki master, I use the Reiki symbols daily to bless my food and people, and for power, clearing, protection and cleansing. Using pictorial icons like the green heart is one way that I do my energy work. Symbols have been used since ancient history. They can be seen in churches and other ancient structures. I know symbols may seem silly to some but to me, their use is serious energy and manifestation work. Because I believe in it, I give it additional power and amplification.
The Impetus for this Post
In the past few weeks in May and June of 2018, I have been receiving clairvoyant images of one of my friends who I sent this text to and one of her ex-friends. These images would just waft into my mind out of the blue, spontaneously and randomly, during the day. I had not been consciously thinking about their relationship at all or tuning into it.
Along with the images came a feeling that they needed to work out things in their relationship and ultimately forgive each other and themselves. They had a falling out, I would say, about three years ago or so and now are no longer are friends. Prior to that they were the closest of friends. When I was with them, I could sense their deep energetic bond and the connection they had.
These clairvoyant images and feelings in regard to my two friends initiated me to create a perpetual, substantial writing piece on unconditional forgiveness. Writing about that subject has been on my mind for a long time. In creating a blog post, I can easily share the link to clients and people in need. There are so many people who can learn forgiveness. A blog post is an efficient utilization of a modality to disperse this type of spiritual knowledge. It is my contribution to humanity as a light worker. I have also incorporated my own real life experiences with forgiveness to get certain points across.
(Note: For you writers out there, this piece took me about 25 hours to compose so far. Usually after I post it, I will psychically get more content to add over the ensuing days and so I spend another two to five hours on additions. I hope to make this post a basis for an upcoming workshop on forgiveness and a possible mini e-book. )
Recommendations for Psychic Development and Receptivity
These types of feelings I experienced with my two friends are a form of clairsentience, or the psychic sense of sensing, which we all have. Some people’s senses are more developed than others because they are more aware.
Because I have learned to quiet my mind, have fewer thoughts running around in there and I am listening to what is in my mind instead of creating more thoughts, I am aware of such things. I have developed an acuteness and an increased psychic receptivity since my awakening in 2009. I trained myself to do this. You can as well if you so choose. I would recommend you to do the same practices to enhance the connection to your intuition and develop your psychic senses. These come into your mind in between the pauses of your thoughts. Therefore, the more space you have between your thoughts, the more you can hear your inner guidance. I share what I learned and how I learned it to help you so you do not need to struggle and for you to learn to access your own gifts and resources.
Take Psychic Information You Receive Yourself Seriously But Check Your Ego
When I receive such psychic information directly, I have learned to take it seriously. I do not ignore the signs. These are coming to me for a purpose and are intentional. And because I was receiving such “psychic downloads” out of the blue, I knew it was not my ego creating them in some way. In the past, I used to tell myself to mind my own business but now, I know it is not that. I have learned to recognize authentic psychic information from my egoic thoughts. It took some time to do this but now I get it. I have been called or enlisted to help in some way those people who I am receiving psychic information on. But please if you receive information psychically, do a double check that your ego is not creating these thoughts.
Why was I Receiving these Psychic Images and Feelings?
In the latter part of 2017 and 2018 I realized part of my soul contract for this current human incarnation was to help, support, teach and learn from specific soul tribe members. In 2018 some of these soul tribe members have been put as my “high priority.” These two ladies that I refer to in the beginning of this post are part of my soul tribe.
I have had increased occurrences of being “called” to help specific soul tribe members in 2018. It has been amped up for me, I feel because this is an 11 numerological year (2+0+1+8=11) and I am an “11” Life Path number of intuition, psychic receptivity and the seeker of spirituality.
What is a Soul Tribe?
I borrowed this definition of soul tribe from my upcoming e-book “Emotional Healing through Spiritual Awakening” to help you understand the concept of a soul tribe:
“Soul Tribe (Soul Collective, Soul Group) – A group of souls who tend to incarnate together over several lifetimes to assist in each other’s spiritual evolution lessons. Everyone has a group of souls they are spiritually connected to and energetically a part of. It includes all members of the group on both sides of the Veil. Your spirit guides and other non-visible guides are part of your soul tribe. One soul group may work with guides from other soul groups to facilitate learning.
During Earthly incarnations, your soul tribe may or may not have blood ties with you. Members are your immediate and extended family members, significant life partners, friends and close associates, including co-workers, etc… There can be hundreds of people in your tribe over your life time. There are discrepancies in the metaphysical and spiritual world as to how many members may be in your inner circle, outer circle and in total.
People from your soul group may come into your lives at seemingly random times, but in fact these critical meetings were preordained. The Law of Attraction works in every aspect of your life including in bringing your soul tribe members to you through each other’s vibrational level.
You may or may not get along with your soul tribe members. Some teachings define a soul tribe as people who get you and whom you can resonate with similar values and beliefs. I feel this is not accurate. It goes much deeper than that. Soul tribe relationships can be volatile and antagonistic as part of one’s evolution. Do not think that every one of them is going to be your closest confidante and buddy. Soul tribe members are not your soul mates, though infrequently a few of them may be. In fact, some of them will be in your most emotionally difficult relationships to bring you your soul lessons.
There may not be exact time overlap as to when you and your members incarnate. Some may be in your life for only a short time, six months, and others for years. Some may physically pass before you do.
There is a mutual energy exchange in a soul tribe. This constant interchange and reversing of roles over lifetimes between the same set of people creates an intense experience which helps you and the other members of your soul tribe to learn life lessons and to balance karma. Your soul tribe has an impact on your state of evolution. It can be said you rise and fall together.
This is why you have a vested interest in helping your soul tribe evolve and to be of service in this way. Whether you are conscious of it or not, you are meant to help each other with your soul lessons by being both a teacher, either through your demonstrations and/or words, and a student in your interactions with each other.
Those in a soul tribe experience soul group karma. “Group karma is created when a soul collective, united by energetic flow (ionization flow) and binds, has agreed to experience key aspects of their soul expression as a unit, rather than as individuals. Groups are predetermined.” ~Archangel Uriel, channeled by Katibe Simmone
Differentiations and a hierarchy of importance can be made within the tribe using relationship closeness. The inner circle or primary level or your soul tribe consists of long-term sustained human relationships, including blood relationships, and the outer circle being relationships of a transitory nature.”
Now that you have learned what initiated this post, back to the important topic of this post, forgiveness, “an essential element for ascension” (I channeled the preceding term in quotes on 7/3/18):
What is Forgiveness?
According to Wikipedia: “Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, forswears recompense from or punishment of the offender, however legally or morally justified it might be, and with an increased ability to wish the offender well.“
Forgiveness is a foundational principal in some religions. In Hinduism forgiveness is considered one of the six cardinal virtues. As an eternal, divine being in human form, to forgive is your essence. It is your dominating ego that prevents you from that.
Many times your beliefs on forgiveness are picked up from your family’s attitudes on the subject and how they demonstrated it or not and from the culture you were raised in. However, when you become an adult, you can learn to unconditionally forgive if you do not know how to. This blog post is a resource to help you in this.
Who have you not forgiven in your life?
Look back on your life from childhood to present. Who have you not forgiven in your life? They can be the following, either living or in spirit, and their transgressions can range in duration and intensity:
- those that have abused you mentally, physically, sexually or in other ways
- those that have criticized and judged you
- those that have disappointed you
- those that were dishonest to you in some way, as in betraying, cheating, lying, scamming you, stealing from you, etc…
- those that have insulted and slandered you
- those that have not been loyal to you through gossiping about you or other ways
- those that who have been mean to you
- those who abandoned or neglected you
- those who have not loved you in the way you expected
- those who you resent or are jealous of
- those that did not support you
- those that used and manipulated you in some way
- those that chose others over you
- and those that wronged you in any other way
Forgive Yourself Because You Love Yourself
I couldn’t complete this post without adding this essential part of self-forgiveness is a form of self love. This needed to be at the beginning of this post. So many of you, if you are not narcissist egotists, are tough on yourself. You are you worst judge and harsh inner critic. You may not have not forgiven yourself for things you have said or done or things you didn’t say or do in the past. These can be things from years gone by~10, 15, 25 , 35 years~ from your childhood or teenage years.
I have held grievances with some family members for over 3o years. That is too long and just plain ridiculous! Isn’t that way to long? I am thankful I have released these completely and in a healthy way. It did take some effort on my part and time. It was a peeling of layers to get to the core of my issues.
Self talk are the thoughts running in your mind. Your self talk can be a reflection of the derogatory voices of your parents, caregivers, siblings, other loved ones or teachers you are hearing, replaying again and again in your mind on an incessant loop. These can be the words you have absorbed consciously and subliminally from your caretakers and other authority figures.
I borrowed this definition of self-talk from my upcoming book “Emotional Awakening Through Spiritual Awakening”:
“Self-Talk – The ongoing often repetitive thoughts in your mind throughout the day. Many times, this runs incessantly in the back of your mind uncontrolled unless you have learned to decrease, pause or still your thoughts through practices of meditation, self-awareness and listening to your thoughts. Your self-talk is a form of conditioning and self-programming. Your self-talk is either coming from your ego of low vibration or your divine aspect of high vibration.
When your self-talk is from the ego, which for many of you it is, it is referred to as the “monkey mind” in Buddhism. It can be self-sabotaging, is self-judgmental, including unkind to yourself, and critical. Therefore, egoic self-talk does not serve you well. It hinders as well as blocks your emotional healing, thwarting your spiritual evolution.
Everyone’s soul contract includes developing self–talk emanating from your divine essence, which is based on unconditional self-love. Self-talk of this vibration is constructive and empowers you. It diminishes your need to even forgive and when it does arise, it promotes easy forgiveness. Emotional distress in your life decreases in frequency and when it does occur, you are able to release and with quicker emotional resiliency.
Becoming aware of your self-talk and shifting it will help you to create a divine based thought system in accordance with your soul contract.”
Learn to listen to your self-talk. Instead of creating your thoughts, just listen. It is revelatory.
What you are hearing inside of your mind?
My Own Experiences with Unloving Self-Talk
I have beaten myself up many, many times over the years. As I look back now, I cannot believe how mean and unloving I was to myself. In fact, I would say, I was cruel to myself. I was hard on myself on issues I just didn’t know about in my teenage years, over thirty years ago!
I have beat myself up because I didn’t do things or was not compassionate or sensitive enough when I was a child or teenager. I felt guilty that I didn’t help my mother enough and was not the good older sister for my younger sister when my father was ill over a period of three years when I was in high school. I felt guilty that I didn’t recognize that my younger brother may have needed some support and friendship during that time as well. I was clueless at the time.
It was only about two years ago, I realized I was still holding this emotional low vibrational junk of guilt, regret and shame. Then I cut myself a break by telling myself “I simply did not know any better at those younger ages due to my emotional immaturity.” I just didn’t have the emotional skills and was incapable at that young age to extend that to them. I realized I was living in the past. The past was gone. What was done, was done. I can only change the present and my future through changing my thoughts so that is what I did. And I am so glad I did!
In the last months of 2017 and into 2018, I have thankfully stopped this self-abusive pattern of behavior. I am much more aware of my self-talk and shifted it to one, more self-compassionate in nature.
Learn and Do Not Beat Yourself Up
I now look back at my life, not with guilt, regret, shame or unforgiveness of what I did or didn’t do or say as I had for thirty or so years of my life but through the perceptual view of what I learned from these valuable life situations. I learned valuable teachings about myself and other people. I am so thankful for this. All those situations and interactions, uncomfortable and difficult as they were at the time, helped me to get to this point. It is so important for us to learn and apply those learning from our past experiences. When you know better, do better. This is how we evolve and grow.
Now, I can say, I truly love myself.
Receiving Telepathic Affirmations
Starting in 2017 before bed, I would repeat positive affirmations as a nightly ritual. I had my own short list of what I thought I needed to say. But often this changed because I would receive, telepathically from beyond, other affirmations to say to myself. I don’t know who the sender was. Maybe it was my Higher Self or my Angels. They didn’t identify themselves. It was high vibrational information so I knew it wasn’t coming from a dark entity.*
The major telepathic affirmations I received to repeat to myself in 2017 and 2018 were “I love myself” and “I believe in myself.” The one about self-love has popped into my mind out of the blue many a time. That’s how I knew I needed to love myself more.
Looking back, I don’t think in the past I even loved myself! And you know what? Even more surprising is that I didn’t know I didn’t love myself. That’s how out of touch I was and not self-aware. I am deeply thankful I have learned and applied self-love. That one is a doosey and vital. Thank-you, Universe, for guiding me to that!
Because I have learned to love myself after many years of life, a lot of statements or behaviors of others do not trigger me like they would have in the past that would require forgiveness. Now, I have become emotionally neutralized and less reactive. The instances of hearing and observing what is projected at me but not taking it to heart are increasing. My sense of self-esteem has stabilized and strengthened since I love myself. I have become more centered and less reactive.
I have made this commitment to myself: No one is going to dullen my sparkle! Not anymore! No longer will I allow that! No longer will I allow others to pull my strings! I make my happiness and inner peace my highest priorities. Amen!
This is the best emotional state to be in. I love it! I wonder how I lived before, without that. I was a lamb, ignorant and hooded and miserable at times when I didn’t need to be.
(*Side note: Since my awakening in 2009 I only received one statement from a dark entity who told me telepathically he didn’t want to talk to me in a rough, snarling voice. That was in my first year of my awakening when I was a newbie and didn’t know any better.)
Taking Responsibility for Your Thoughts
Taking responsibility for your thoughts is a form of self-love. When your ego blames others for your misery, you are giving away your power to them. When you make others responsible for your happiness, you disempower yourself. As one saying goes “You put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.”
Emotionally reacting to a situation IS NOT responding which usually requires a pause and moderation. The people you are with don’t force you to react. Your ego does that. You have a choice in how to respond to everything in your life. Own that.
Please know, you are only human and not a robot and your egoic feelings will arise from time to tome which feed the circumstances that need forgiveness. Please do not deny, ignore or repress your emotions. In these instances, do not be hard on yourself and beat yourself up about it. Learn from it. Do your best and work through it. It is important to show yourself the divine attributes of self-love, compassion and gentleness.
I like to tell myself I will do better next time when I have fallen off the spiritual cart and find myself starting to harbor a grievance and becoming unforgiving. Sometimes, I do better and sometimes I don’t! However, overall, the quality of my life has improved dramatically when I learned to acknowledge and then heal my egoic thoughts associated with nonforgiveness. It is part of every one’s evolution to learn to master this.
As a result of all of these encounters I had in my life which required me to forgive, I began to know myself more intimately. I am ecstatic about that and this self-knowledge is invaluable. I am so inspired by what I learned, I wanted to share it with everyone who is open and willing to listen; hence, this post and many of my other writings were born.
Please know, you are only human and not a robot. Your feelings will arise which feed the circumstances that need forgiveness. Please do not deny, ignore or repress these emotions. Don’t pretend you don’t have them, when you do. Don’t pretend your life is hunky dory, when it is not.
Your patterns surrounding forgiveness will arise from time to time. In these instances, do not be hard on yourself and beat yourself up about it. Learn from it. Do your best and work through it. It is important to show yourself the divine attributes of self-love, compassion and gentleness.
To quote Buddha~”If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.”
I like to tell myself I will do better next time when I have fallen off the spiritual cart and find myself starting to harbor a grievance and become unforgiving and resentful. Sometimes, I do better and sometimes I don’t! However, overall, the quality of my life has improved dramatically when I learned to acknowledge and then heal my egoic thoughts associated with not forgiving others. It is part of every one’s evolution to learn to master this.
As a result of all of these encounters in my life which required my forgiveness, I began to know myself more intimately. I am ecstatic about that and it is invaluable. I am so inspired by this, I wanted to share it with everyone who is open and willing to listen and read; hence, this post and many of my other writings were born.
Acknowledge & Process Your Feelings
Forgiveness comes after acknowledging and processing all of your feelings surrounding the situation and toward those parties involved. These can include feelings such as the following:
Reread the above list. These feelings are not fun! They are certainly not ones of bliss, happiness or peace.
What good does it do for you to hold onto feelings of unforgiveness of yourself or others if they are just making your miserable and taking you away from your joy that you are entitled to and deserving of?
These low vibrational feelings are feelings generated by your ego, not your Divine Self, which is only pure unconditional love for yourself and others. Unconditional forgiveness brings you back home to your Divine Nature, your True Nature.
So forgive whoever is to blame for your past, big or small, including yourself. Then, move forward by taking responsibility for your thoughts in the present. When you shift in the present, it automatically changes your future. I created a step by step process for forgiveness which I share later in this post if you need some help.
Your Perceptual Lens
There are facts and objective data and then there are your perceptions. There is a difference. Know your perceptions about these people who you have not forgiven, including yourself and the situations involving them are just that, your perceptions coming through the filter of your ego, belief systems and unhealed emotional wounds that you have been carrying from childhood to now. Your perceptions and memories may not necessarily be accurate, correct or objective. They can be regurgitation and a compilation of key people from your childhood on like your parents and siblings.
Another person who has a different lens of viewing the world may view the same situation entirely differently. Viewing a situation from the other party’s perspective is one of the steps in my forgiveness technique that I share in this post. Seeing the same situation in a different light can create a beneficial shift for you toward forgiveness.
My Perspective on A Course in Miracles
I have studied A Course in Miracles (ACIM). Like many bodies of philosophical, esoteric and religious studies, there are aspects of it, one may disagree with while appreciating other aspects. ACIM has many wonderful teachings but one of my criticisms of this thought system is that it doesn’t address the necessity of processing all the human emotions surrounding forgiveness one may have and the import of getting to the source level of each interaction that requires forgiveness.
ACIM espouses in general just to be loving to forgive. Indeed, the teaching of love is beautiful and at the very core of forgiveness. But I found “Be love and forgive” a blanket, general phrase that did not serve me in the best way and did not help me to forgive. It did not touch on the deeper levels of what I was feeling inside. It seemed to gloss over some very valuable, underlying self-delving and self-excavation work that we all need to know to understand ourselves and how we came to have the attitudes and belief systems that we do. I believe when we do this inner work, we can understand others better as well, creating more compassion for our fellow brothers and sisters.
I know there are many students of ACIM that would disagree with me on this and that is fine. People resonate to different teachings, which is why there are so many different paths though most of them all have the same common goal, to be Love.
For me, personally, I need a more detailed approach to help me shift into forgiveness in addition to the mantra “Be loving and forgive.” I realized understanding myself through my reactions of nonforgiveness is a crucial step me to heal emotionally disruptive thought patterns.
A Forgiveness Technique
Hence, I compiled the following technique, which has been a tremendous aid for me to release, to help you shift into forgiveness and create some self-introspection which is absolutely crucial to knowing ourselves, our thought patterns, our intentions and our belief systems. It has many steps. In the beginning I would suggest you go through all the steps to become familiar with them and because they can reveal so much about your inner workings. As you become more adept with practice, you may need to only apply a few of the steps.
Preparing yourself and your space:
- Make sure you are in a safe, quiet space with ample time at least twenty minutes and without interruption.
- Be in relaxed, balanced state of mind. If the situation requiring forgiveness just came up, you may need to calm down before doing this exercise. When you are emotionally stabilized, this exercise will be more fruitful.
- Take a few deep, cleansing breaths.
- Have your journal, computer or smart phone ready to record your thoughts and responses to below.
- To amplify your intention for help, light a candle and let it burn throughout this exercise. You can also use incense and lay your crystals close to you.
- Play soft, serene music in the background.
(1) Contemplate your life and extract those situations involving specific people around which you are holding feelings of non-forgiveness. To start off, select one which has the most emotional charge for you to focus on during this exercise. It can be one that is recent or one from your past. It can involve those that are living or in spirit.
(2) Acknowledge what you are feeling in regard to the forgiveness situation and label each egoic emotion. Write these in your journal, on your computer or the memo function of your smart phone. The act of writing helps you to gain clarity, become more focused and demonstrates to the Universe your commitment to want to help yourself.
It is crucial to acknowledge the specific individual feelings which arise within you. Use the list of forgiveness emotions I provided in this post or go to a thesaurus to define them. This act of honing and categorizing the type of emotions you are feeling will help to stabilize you by getting you to step outside of your volatility to understand your emotions.
It may feel like you have a few different emotions that are bundled up together. Parse them out. Or like a tangled skein of yarn, start to unravel it.
Also, during this time remember to stay open. Continue to tune in, sense and listen to your thoughts in case the Universe is sending you more information about what you are feeling.
It is important to be clear with what feelings have surfaced. In doing so, you will learn more about yourself and become familiar with what emotional patterns you have that caused your triggers and continue to enable it. This may reveal important patterns in your life in how you consistently react.
(3) When you have felt, you have fully labeled all of your emotions in regard to this situation, put all of your expectations aside. Command your ego to step aside so you can fully receive the high level guidance.
(4) Now, it is time to ask for help through divine guidance. In prayer, inner stillness or meditation with heartfelt intention, telepathically or out loud, ask for help from the Universe, your Higher Self, Source (or whatever high level intelligence you believe in), your Angels, your Guides of Light and Love and/or Master Teacher Guides. Use these high level free resources available to you 24/7. Why struggle on your own? There is no need to do it alone when you are never alone.
Request they continue to guide you. Express to them you want to receive, for your highest good and the highest good of all concerned, guidance on this specific forgiveness issue and how to release your feelings around it completely, unconditionally and expeditiously.
Thank them in advance for their wisdom which they will impart to you.
(5) Pause, stay open and receptive. Use all of your senses to discern what you are feeling, seeing and receiving.
(6) Through introspection, attempt go back to the first time you developed this emotional reactiveness which caused you to hold a grievance. Notice if it is a pattern. Look back at your recent life, the past week, the past month, the past year and then further back into your past life as needed. Document how often and when these same emotions rose in your life. You may find it is always with a specific person in your life, a family member, a friend or a co-worker or a certain set of circumstances. If it was with the same individual, it would be a sign of a karmic relationship that needs to be healed. Record their names. If it is around a recurring set of events, it is a specific soul attribute you are to garner, i.e. patience, nonjudgment, self love, etc…
Many of the low vibration feelings you have as an adult have a lot to do with how your parents or major caretakers interacted with each other, how you feel they treated you and how they treated others. Many belief systems surrounding forgiveness, money, work ethic, work/family balance, how to treat men, how to treat women, what a man’s responsibility is verses a woman’s, etc… have been passed down from generation to generation and associated with ancestral and cultural attitudes.
It may have been in childhood when someone said something to you one time or treated you in a way you felt was hurtful that you first began to be unforgiving. You may come to realize you have been carrying the same emotional wound since childhood and it has continued to surface and be triggered throughout your life in different environments and with different people.
The reasons why this wound was not healed can be many. It may be because you were unaware of it but it has been working on autopilot in the back of your mind. Or you just didn’t stop to think you could change your feelings to help yourself. Or being busy with your life, you denied, ignored or accepted it.
(7) Introspect about other family members especially your parents or significant people in your early life and later who may have had exhibited similar emotions around forgiveness. Did you pick up some of your qualities from them? When you are born, you are like a sponge, absorbing and assimilating so quickly to adapt to the human environment.
Inherently, children want to please their parents and caregivers and yearn for their approval and validation. Perhaps there were some around you who were very critical and rarely praised you. This could have resulted in you becoming a perfectionist and over demanding on others and not forgiving yourself. Or it can explain why you have always felt you were never good enough. These types of revelations can be liberating in realizing you have taken on your loved one’s emotional baggage as your own. It can also explain why it has been so difficult to for you to release it over the years.
Steps (6) and (7 ) will help you to understand the derivation of your emotional patterns in regard to forgiveness and the formations of its associated emotional triggers. These epiphanies in itself may create a tremendous healing release when you learn that.
(8) Ask yourself the following questions:
– Are your feelings of unforgiveness coming from your unhealed emotional wounds from the past and your emotional triggers? This is an important revelation to give you insight into the source of your feelings for healing.
– Is the surge of these unforgiveness feelings a pattern in your life? Look for commonalities in your past in which you felt the same way. Identify the settings and people you were with to understand your triggers.
– Is the unforgiveness you’re feeling irrational and appropriate in intensity to the stimulus?
Are you sweating the small stuff?
Are you exhibiting myopic, narrow minded perceptions?
– Are you are taking it too personally? This requires you to step back and away from your feelings. It requires you to have a level of objectivity. This is why it is important to be in a balanced state in doing this exercise. If you are in the throes of your egoic low vibrational feelings, you will not be able to tell if you are taking it too personally. This is not to invalidate your feelings but to give them their proper scope.
(9) Reframe the situation by seeing it from the following, more empowering point of view:
– See it with gratitude for its positive aspects. See the brighter side of the situation. There is ALWAYS something to be grateful for if you have the vision to see it.
What is there to be grateful for in this situation?
The following well-known adages may apply here and provide you with some comfort during these trying situations:
“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
“Every cloud has a silver lining.”
“When one door closes, another opens.”
“All is in Universal Order and Diving Timing.”
“If it is meant to be, it will be.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“You are only given what you can handle.”
You can repeat these as mantras to help you but do it authentically and in a heartfelt fashion. Do not repeat these superficially and by rote, i.e. as platitudes. Don’t jump over puddles here. Repeat these mantras over the ensuing days.
(10) See this forgiveness issue as your soul lesson. The Universal Law of Attraction magnetized this specific event into your energetic field for a purpose. There is something important for all parties involved to learn as part of their souls’ growth. The essential steps of acknowledging what you are feeling and getting through the emotional charge you are feeling in these situation has been done in the earlier steps. Now, you will move onto what you need to develop within yourself or learn about others through this experience.
What unhealed emotional wounds did it uncover that you have been suppressing, repressing, ignoring or denying that surfaced for you to address?
Dig deep to understand yourself and why you are choosing to let this person/situation bother you and disturb your peace.
What divine traits does the Universe want you to gain or deepen from this issue in which you haven’t forgiven?
Be proactive to learn so you will not have to experience this soul lesson again.
Divination tools such as Oracle and Tarot cards, journaling, meditation, inner stillness, prayer and notice synchronicities in your life in the days following will guide you into gleaming important information from your forgiveness situation if you are unsure.
Ask yourself the following questions to determine what it is you are to learn:
- Are you to learn to love yourself?
- Are you to learn to let others be their authentic selves?
- Are you to learn to communicate and express yourself better and in a more timely manner?
- Are you to learn to become less controlling?
- Are you to learn to become more independent and self-referring?
- Are you to learn to believe in yourself?
- Are you to learn to become more generous?
- Are you to learn to become less judgmental and accepting of others who are different than you and have different beliefs and values?
- Are you to learn to stop measuring other people by your yardstick?
- Are you to learn to become less needy on others?
- Are you to learn patience?
- Are you to learn to develop your inner strength?
- Are you to learn to take responsibility?
- Are you to learn to improve your self confidence?
- Are you to learn how not to be?
- Are you to learn about human behavior and shadow aspects, how their ego and insecurities can negatively impact them?
- Are you to learn the difference and disconnect between a person’s energetic projection and what they say? I have learned that energy does not lie. So when someone says something but the energy they radiate is different, I go with their energy.
(11) Shift your perspective of the situation to the other party’s point of view. As best as you can, put yourself in their shoes and see the situation through their eyes.
Can you understand why they reacted like they did and where they were coming from?
Was it due to their own dysfunctional upbringing, culture or life experiences? Is their astrological sign exerting an influence? Not that this is an excuse for their behavior but it does give you context.
Are they reacting to something you said or something you said to them earlier, inadvertently or consciously? That is the Law of Cause and Effect. You may have contributed in some way to the situation.
Are you meeting them where they are at and not where you at? Some people have lower emotional intelligence and IQ. They simply are incapable of comprehending certain things yet. That does not mean you should stop your attempts to communicate to them lovingly to help them but it needs to be done at their levels.
Record your thoughts and observations.
This step helps to create empathy, compassion and sensitivity to your fellow brethren. It also helps you to take responsibility for how you may have contributed to the situation. These are very valuable life skills to help you with all of your ongoing and future relationships.
So many times, your ego wants to be selfish and for it to be all about you, your hurts, your woes and lamentations without any concern for the other person involved. This is one-sided, lopsidedness.
(12) Now, shift your perspective of the situation to that of a neutral observer’s, to one who is not involved and does not have an interest in the situation. See the situation through a different lens with more rationality and fairness, instead of from your wounded heart. Think of yourself as a news reporter who is reporting on only the facts of the situation without any emotionality. Record this.
(13) Then shift your perspective to that of a Divine Being’s or the Universe’s. How would a high-level, intelligent, loving consciousness or a Light Being, such as your Angels, Jesus or the Dalai Lama see this situation?
Use your imagination if you must to prime your creative juices if you have trouble with this one.
Record your thoughts and observations.
(14) Notice the differences from the perspective of your ego, that of the party involved, that of a neutral observer’s to and that of a Light Being’s.
These steps helps to give you a broader perspective of the situation with increased clarity as to the reality of what transpired.
(15) The following was an addition I received on 8/20/17 which I felt guided to insert on behalf of the Light Beings:
View the situation from a karmic perspective and ask yourself the following questions:
Are your egoic feelings going to create low vibrational karma?
The answer is always yes unless you unconditional forgive them. If you are judging them harshly, holding bitterness and anger toward them and all these other emotions, you will be creating low vibrational karma. The extent of the karma will be determinant on the intensity of the emotion your are feeling and its duration, hours, day, months, years or until you transition into the afterlife.
Based on this, are you ready to receive the karma ramifications of balancing the low vibrational karma in this lifetime or in another reincarnation, if you do not forgive in this lifetime?
For me, this particular step has allowed me to forgive people so much more quickly. I want to prevent the low vibrational karma boomerang in this lifetime or next. I am very thankful I have applied this in my life by asking myself if I want to carry that karma baggage. My answer is always a resounding “No!”.
(16) Look at the bigger picture of the specific situation. Note the person’s strengths and overall track record. Ask yourself the following and record your answers:
- Is this one situation enough to be a deal breaker or is it an extenuating circumstance?
- Is it a pattern of behavior for this person to act in this way in which you then choose to feel upset or hurt by?
- Is if fair to hold this against them?
(17) Note if you somehow you created or inflamed the situation. Take responsibility for your words, actions, sound tones, sound volume and facial expressions. It is not only what you say, it is how you say it. Be honest with yourself.
It is difficult for people to admit their flaws due to their egos. Many have blind spots in this regard. But by recognizing your shadows and weaknesses, you can transform them into light and strengths. Feedback from those we trust and whose opinions we value can provide honesty in how we are carrying ourselves in the world. You can ask others who observed the situation for feedback if you have blind spots.
Have your ego step aside. Ask yourself the following questions. Answer honestly. Record your answers.
- Did you say something to someone in such a way that the person you were with reacted to it?
- Was your tone accusatory?
- Was your tone angry, condescending, frustrated or impatient?
- Did your roll your eyes at them?
- How did you contribute to the situation?
All of the above can further incite and escalate situations.
(18) The unconditional forgiveness check: Tune into yourself after completing the preceding steps and evaluate your state of mind and the feelings in your heart space.
Ask yourself the following questions and record your answers:
- How does your mind and heart feel?
- Can you genuinely send those involved love and light and wish them well on your life journey?
- Do you still feel an emotional charge or a heaviness in your heart whenever you think of the situation and people involved?
If you still feel perturbed or are holding any low vibrational egoic feelings, you have not completely energetically cleared yourself. That is okay! Humans are complex. You may need to repeat the preceding steps of this exercise again in the days following. I recommend you do this in a timely manner for your own sake and don’t put it to the side.
You will know when you have emotionally healed yourself in regard to this situation when you can send yourself and others involved in the situation love and light, heartfully and freely.
(19) As emotional maintenance: On an ongoing basis, daily or weekly, scan your mind and heart to see if any instances arose in your life which require you to forgive others or yourself. You can do this at the end of every evening. Please do it with gentleness for yourself and others.
You can identify your forgiveness issues because you will not feel at peace within yourself and emotionally disturbed and unbalanced. Your body will cue you in through physical cues.
This scanning technique will help prevent forgiveness incidences from sneaking in and taking over your well-being without your self-awareness. It will nip them in the bud by addressing them almost as soon as they occur which is so important for your energetic and long term physical health.
(20) A practice of regular quality meditation, daily preferably, and mindfulness can help you tune into your inner self and its inner workings. It can help illuminate you as to what and who you need to heal through forgiveness.
The Importance of Timely, Loving Communication
I feel that the basis for many people in situations that require forgiveness is lack of proper communication. Many of us do not express in a timely manner to others what we desire, what we need or how we are feeling in a high vibrational manner. We expect others to read our minds and for people, including our loved ones, to just “know” what it is we need. We expect them to be sensitive to us. This is especially true of the expectations we hold about those closest to us, like our parents, our spouses and children. Then when we don’t receive what we expect from them, the stuff has the potential to fester and boil inside of us, waiting to erupt at a future time.
The Importance of Detachment from Outcome
Be prepared though if you honestly, compassionately and tactfully communicate to someone, they may not necessarily receive it in the way you hoped. Learn to detach from this expectation of the outcome. If you are expecting an apology from them, you may not get one. Or it may come much later in time. Even if you explain lovingly how you are feeling, they may still not see it your way. The human ego is very strong and persuasive, blocking people from receiving and seeing the truth about themselves.
Can you still be friends or partners with them?
Is this a deal breaker?
Do you need to eliminate or minimize your interactions with them?
Connect to your intuition to help guide you through this.
My Personal Experience with Communication
I had a situation about two years ago in 2016 with another soul tribe member directly associated with communication. A girlfriend blew up on me out of the blue over the phone when I was attempting to gather some friends together for an evening outing. Her tone was very angry and condescending. Because I am sensitive to energy and sound, I immediately picked up on it. I am a Cancer water sign and a channeler of Light Beings so I am sensitive to human energy as well as other types of energy.
To give you some clarifying background: I was out of the state for about a month and hadn’t seen this friend and communicated very little to her when I was away. Needless to say, I was confused as to where her emotion was coming from. I was shocked to be at the receiving end of her outburst. I had no idea what it was about. It took me off guard. During the interaction, I scanned my mind quickly to come up with an answer to her behavior but to no avail.
Immediately after my friend’s outburst, I did some coaching with her by text. She revealed to me what it was about. About five weeks prior, I had forgotten to acknowledge her birthday on the day it occurred. I sent her an email the morning of but not with birthday wishes. I did send her belated wishes on Facebook a day later, which I reminded her of during our texting, but that didn’t cut the mustard with her.
I let my friend know she could have just texted, emailed or called me at the time to express her hurt about me forgetting her birthday. Instead, she let it build and build until she exploded a few weeks later. She admitted she needed to learn to better communicate so she doesn’t erupt and is going to be working on it. I know the Universe engaged me to help her, a fellow soul tribe member, during this interaction for her to learn this valuable lesson. It just came with an “ouch factor” on my end of it. That’s okay. It happened that way for a reason.
Acknowledgement of her birthday was a symbol for her of friendship. I explained to her where I was coming from. I came from a family where birthdays were not as significant. I did not even remember my own nieces’ or nephews’ birthdays some years or recognized them belatedly. I still do not remember the day my own father passed! May he rest in peace. I feel my family members just accepted this aspect of me, though it could have been begrudgingly.
All of those dates of birthdays, anniversaries, days loved ones passed away related to immediate family members, extended family members, in-laws and friends is just too much information to have in my brain. I made the conscious decision not to make remembering these a priority. I only remember my husband’s, daughter’s, siblings’ and mother’s birthdays. That’s it.
And then this situation happened with my friend venting on me. In my over fifty years of life, I have never had someone call me out on forgetting an important date. Some may have been thinking of it inside but never expressed it to me. There is always a first time for everything!
I told my friend my forgetfulness in regard to her birthday wasn’t personal. That was just the way I have been rolling all these years. I am not saying it is right. I am so glad I had the wherewithal and the balance to explain where I was coming from to help her to understand me instead of just reacting back to her and becoming confrontational, which is what my ego wanted to do.
It was not the easiest communication for me to have in the moment that it happened but I demonstrated emotional restraint with her. After that, I knew I had achieved a certain level of emotional mastery. I had passed a major soul test!
In fact to further substantiate my views on birthdays, when I used to buy my mother birthday cards, my mother would turn it over, look at the back of the card and say “You paid $1.99 for this piece of paper? You could have bought me a package of gum!” I heard that many a time! Now, I laugh about what my mother said. So that was the family culture I grew up with in regards to birthdays and what status it was given!
My friend and I obviously had a different value system and expectations in regards to birthdays and their significance. No one is right or wrong but there are many spiritual teachings that espouse to release from expectations. The more expectations you carry of others, the higher chance you have of being disappointed, again and again and again. That is why learning to detach from expectation is absolutely crucial for your well-being. To be self-referring and give yourself what you expect from others is a major soul lesson. It was one I learned after many personal incidences following my spiritual awakening. I am happy to say I have come a long way and now can detach from expectation more easily.
Believe me, it was not easy for me to keep my balance when my friend was lashing out on my verbally, including energetically. I felt so hurt that she came at me like that, her friend, just because I had forgotten her birthday the day of, when overall, I felt I have only been kind to her and treated her like a friend in the past. This is how I processed it.
After this interaction, I was hurt for days after and was licking my wounds. I felt so sad for myself like someone had just kicked Bambi, the cartoon baby deer character. Because I allowed myself to feel so hurt, I thought about changing our friendship status. I thought she had been mean to me for no valid reason. I am glad I didn’t do this and had the wherewithal to look at the scope of our relationship and not let this single incident define it.
I take full responsibility for my emotions which allowed my boat to be rocked like that. As I share, it is important to acknowledge what you feel and that was what I was feeling. It wasn’t her fault I chose to react like that though her actions were the contributing cause.
I did text my friend in the following days to tell her I was very hurt by her reaction and her emotional projections at me. I let her know I had to employ all my spiritual tools and techniques for days to get myself out of that feeling of wounded funk. I am so thankful I had the voice to let her know this.
(Side note: Some readers may think my texting her was impersonal. Just as background, I prefer to text over verbal communication because there is a written transcript for clarity. Also, I can be much more coherent and complete when I text as I can take my time to formulate my thoughts. In addition when I write, I am more in control of keeping my tone even-keeled.
I am a writer by nature and even my Turkish birth name, Katibe, means scribe. So that is my preferred mode of communication. I know others prefer verbal communications and feel that is more personal. In the past, I found when I hung up from phone conversations, I would often say “Now, why didn’t I say this or that?” It was then I learned, I would rather express through writing, texting, email, etc… Everyone has their preferred communication style.)
In the past, I would have kept my feelings to myself and suffered silently. My friend was surprised I shared how her words and the energy in which she expressed them affected me. I had to let her know this. There were ramifications to her words and sound tones. If she had just said to me lovingly “You, know, Katibe, I felt hurt when you forgot my birthday” instead of lashing out at me weeks later at another unrelated incident would have been optimal. She hadn’t learned to communicate in that way yet. Why do we forget or simply not know we can communicate lovingly our desires and still be direct and get our points across?
There were lessons here for both of us. For this specific friend, I knew it was because she had not learned how to lovingly communicate from her family. More than one time, prior to this interaction, I heard telepathically out of the blue she had come from a “dysfunctional” family. In addition, she had shared some of her stories growing up and into adulthood about her family which validated the telepathy I received.
For every cause there is an effect. Sure, she dumped on me and it may have felt good to her temporarily to unleash that but then there is the effect. I am not a plastic doll. As a human, I am still living in the World of Form. I am going to react or respond in some way. But again, I take full responsibility for the intensity and duration of my reactive low vibrational, egoic feelings. This is a solid example of how if you lash out and attack someone because you felt wronged in your righteousness, it is not done in a vacuum. There may be some fallout in the relationship as a direct result taking things out on someone.
After, she apologized twice to me verbally and said she never intended to hurt my feelings. I was thankful to receive these apologies. It was big of her to apologize.
I accumulated key learnings from all of this. I belief everything happens for a reason. It is all in divine flow. I learned from my friend. I learned we just needed to understand each other and be clear with each other. I learned more about my friend’s persona and her value system from this interaction, which was different than mine, for future dealings with her.
I also expanded this learning to be cognizant that she is not the only person who uses such symbols like birthdays, special occasions and gifts to recognize friendship, value and love. I have had other family members, including in-laws, who got very upset if they didn’t receive their gifts and acknowledgements on their birthdays on time as well.
Hallmark, the American greeting card company, could not stay in business if some humans did not value milestone dates. And then there are people like me and my mother who value other behaviors like how treating someone well over physical symbols like gifts or card. Different strokes for different folks.
I sensed my friendship with this specific girlfriend changed slightly after that. We are still friends and I would describe it as a solid friendship which I am appreciative for; However, she became more “careful” and aware around me. She slowly withdraw a bit. Perhaps, it was because I changed too after this interaction. I feel she felt bad she hurt my feelings though she apologized and I accepted her apology. Again this is the Law of Cause and Effect in play. People can forgive but do not forget.
All in all, I feel we both have developed a further understanding and respect of ourselves and others after this interaction.
(Note: As a side: With the smart phones available now, it is easier to keep track and put recurring important events as reminders if once chooses to do this. I have done this and have gotten much better at key date remembrances though I could still improve on it.)
Why We Don’t Express-Conditioning and Indoctrination
Background, gender, culture and race affect the quality of how you communicate or not communicate. Admittedly when you are a child or a teenager, you may not be capable of such communication with the adults in your life and may not have the life skills to tell your mother or father you felt hurt by their words or actions. Also, this type of expression may not have even been allowed in your family or culture. You were not a “good boy or a good girl” if you did this. The adage “Respect your elders” may have been an underlying force as well.
For women as a collective all across the globe, we have absorbed, assimilated and have been taught the false concept of being subservient to men and “staying quiet,” generation after generation.
High Vibrational Communication
As you move into adulthood, you can learn to self express in a timely manner and with grace. High vibrational, loving, conscious communication is not taught in schools and many times not demonstrated by those around us, including those that raised us and love us.
There are books and articles on how to better communicate if you feel you need help on this. I have researched this myself and do practice the art of communicating. It is a work in process.
I developed the following (in alphabetical order) to help me define what loving, conscious communication is in ALL Types of Relationships, from personal to work. These are high vibrational, divine attributes:
- Broad minded
- Respectful to yourself and the parties involved
- Win/win for all
It is helpful to define something by what it is not. Loving, conscious communication is NOT the following, which are all ego-driven and low vibrational:
- One sided
The Levels of Forgiveness
Anything and anyone can be forgiven. Nothing is exempt or dire enough that the Universe says “This act or person is not forgivable.” This was demonstrated by some of the Holocaust survivors and Nelson Mandela, when he was released from prison after serving many years. Per Wikipedia he was a South African anti-apartheid revolutionary, political leader, and philanthropist, who served as President of South Africa from 1994 to 1999. He said the following:
“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”
The forgiveness extended by the survivors of these atrocities serve as beautiful inspirations and upliftment that it is possible for us as well. They can serve as beacons of light for you on your own journey to unconditional forgiveness.
From Edgar Cayce, renowned psychic in-spirit, that I channeled:
“Find time to make peace with yourself. Forgiveness is an essential element for ascension. Forgiveness of oneself, for others, for all that you perceive that mankind has not achieved.”
The most important thing is just to start forgiving yourself and others. If you can’t do this, just start contemplating it and meditating on it. You will be surprised as to how this will put into play supporting guidance for you in your life through life synchronicities and human messengers in the days following and ongoing to help you achieve forgiveness. Your Higher Self wants you to forgive and so do your Angels, Master Guides and all of your other etheric helpers. You forgive for your soul, to help it learn, experience and expand.
There are many levels of forgiveness. Just do it no matter what level you start at. You are showing the Universe you have “a little willingness” when you make even a small attempt to forgive. (“A little willingness” is a term from A Course in Miracles).
Forgiveness at the Source Level
In order to have the maximal impact though, the forgiveness must be genuine, authentic and at the source level. This means it is done not only on the mind level but it flows through to the heart level. It reaches farther than at superficial levels like lip talk. Forgiveness that acts only as a band-aid and does not address the issue at root, core levels is not complete emotional healing.
If it is a total cerebral activity without any corresponding changes in your heart space, then it is not occurring at the deepest levels. You may find over a period of time, even years that you will move through the different levels to get to the source if you are willing and courageous enough to do that.
Reasons to Forgive
Genuinely, unconditionally forgive others and yourself. I have been contemplating why people do not forgive. I know you cannot tell some people just to forgive. They have to be convinced and incented as to why. So I listed quite a few solid reasons, 11 to be specific, following to help you choose forgiveness if you were hesitating in doing so as evidence. I, sincerely, hope this helps you to forgive whoever or whatever you are still carrying around with you and that is languishing in your energetic field. Then, I will have been successful in my light work task at hand.
Forgiveness has numerous benefits, emotionally, energetically and physically. I spelled them out for clarity and to show you how deep the effects of forgiveness are. These are all reasons that have helped me to forgive quickly and even prevented situations from arising that may need forgiveness. Halleluiah for that!
Genuine forgiveness and an ongoing forgiveness practice contributes to the following:
- Increases your happiness and inner peace. Your life journey will be much lighter and easier if you don’t carry your past and attachments to grievances with you. Two emotions or two thoughts cannot occupy your mind simultaneously. So, if you carrying bitter thoughts and thoughts of hope, thoughts of happiness and peace cannot find a place in your mind.
- Increases your inner vibration and therefore your frequency. When you are happy and at peace, this raises your vibration. An increased vibration connects you more directly to your intuition. A high vibration makes it easier for you to connect and communicate with your Higher Self, your Angels and other high level etheric guides who have been assigned to help you during your time here on Earth. An increased vibration also allows you to manifest more quickly.
- Helps you to ascend to the Higher Realms of your spiritual evolution more expediently. Remember, when you forgive, you emotionally heal. And when you let go, you soul grows and expands. This is the crux of the nature of all of our existences. It applies not only to me but to you and every one on the planet as well.
- Contributes to the increased vibration of your children, pets, people around you, plants, all other things and the entire world because we are all one. Pets absorb the frequency of the energy of those in their household. When the frequency of an emotion is low as unforgiveness is, it can potentially afflicted you and others around you with health conditions as well. To me this is powerful. I do not want to pollute the world with my “unforgiveness energy of low vibration.” That is unfair to every one and everything else. I aspire to be a good steward of this planet and a responsible citizen.
- Increases the vitality of your aura (your energy field) and energetic structures such as your chakras. It clears and strengthens your upper chakras allowing your psychic senses and your connection to your intuition to fully develop.
- Removes the energetic “trash”, the blocks, constraints and lethargy that unforgiveness creates from your energy field and other energetic structures that inhibit and impedes your creative, energetic flow.
- Stops the stunting of your divine potential.
- Stops limiting your abundance on all levels~financial, physical, emotional, spiritual and emotional.
- Alleviates and prevents physical ailments, including aches, pains, disease, sickness and other forms of discomfort from occurring. According to Wikipedia: “Studies show that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold resentments. The first study to look at how forgiveness improves physical health discovered that when people think about forgiving an offender it leads to improved functioning in their cardiovascular and nervous systems. Another study at the University of Wisconsin found the more forgiving people were, the less they suffered from a wide range of illnesses. The less forgiving people reported a greater number of health problems.”
- Prevents the creation of low vibrational karma that will need to be balanced and resolved in this lifetime or future lifetime(s).
- Improves and promotes higher quality relationships with everyone from personal, romantic, social, to work and most importantly with yourself.
- Reveals your unhealed emotional triggers and creates awareness of them which automatically helps to alleviate or prevent them from being pulled in the future.
- Prevents the occurrence of future emotionality within you and decreases the frequency of it as you retrain your mind, change your thoughts including to develop a divine based belief system of forgiveness to replace your false egoic system. You will be able to recognize your egoic feelings and process them more expediently to create beneficial shifts within yourself.
- Changes your present and your future to one infused with more fluidity, light, openness and opportunity.
- It releases the harmful ties to your past. You cannot change the past; However, you can change your perceptions about the past. It is known in the scientific community that the human mind plays tricks with human memory. Often, it creates false memories. So what you think happened in the past and the way it happened may actually be a falsehood. Researchers are beginning to understand that the human mind can create, distort, exaggerate or re-invent a memory after a traumatic experience or something that impacted someone greatly.
These are all powerful impetuses to transform your feelings to forgiveness in a timely fashion.
The following is a beautiful contemplation from Robert Holden, author of Lovability, to help you on your healing journey to forgiveness:
“Imagine what it would be like to wake up one morning and find you have forgiven everyone, and have only feelings of appreciation and love for your life.”
Don’t Kid Yourself
Carrying around unforgiveness of yourself and/or for those that are living or in-spirit is a burdensome weight that you do not need! You may not realize the weight of what you have been carrying until you feel the weight of its release. You may say ” I am fine. Everything is good. I am happy enough.”
This is what I told myself for years. I fooled myself. Energetically, it wasn’t fine. It wasn’t good. This is exactly what I experienced when I forgave certain people in my family and others for what I perceived as their past trespasses after my awakening. Upon release, I experienced such a lightness and euphoria. It was beautiful and absolutely amazing! I could tangibly feel the shift in my energetic field and the expansion of my heart chakra. It was powerful!
Why Forgiveness is Important
I channeled this from the Angelic Realm:
“Letting go and forgiving yourself and others without precondition will help facilitate your growth. It will remove unnecessary energetic debris and residue from your vibrational field. You will immediately feel clearer and lighter. You will notice the difference. “
Being unwilling to forgive is a terrible thing to do to yourself. It does you no good to carry the low vibrational, dense energy of unforgiveness around. Because of its low frequency, it actually harms you energetically and potentially physically through health issues.
Do you not desire optimal physical health?
Nonforgiveness take you away from your inner peace and restricts you. I channeled the following from Archangel Michael on 5/25/15:
“In your moments of peace, you expand by leaps and bounds. Allow this to be your natural way.”
Not forgiving also drags not only your vibration down but that of everyone and everything around you. It is impossible to feel your best and free when you keep yourself bound to the past. You are in a prison of your own choosing. Yuck! I no longer choose that for myself because I love myself.
The Universal Law of Karma
Because of the Universal Kaw of Karma, when you don’t forgive someone, you will need to balance that in this lifetime or in another future incarnation in another lifetime(s) if it is not addressed and resolved in a high vibrational way which means unconditional forgiveness.
According to some studies of metaphysics, low vibrational karma can only be balanced or equalized on the dimensional plane it was created on. Therefore, any low vibrational karma you create on Earth during this incarnation will need to be balanced in this lifetime or another lifetime to be addressed again with the same person, whether it be a friend, parent, sibling, ex-spouse or co-worker.
If your karma is not healed through transformation of changing the energy from low vibrational to high vibrational in this lifetime, it will carry over upon reincarnation into a future lifetime or lifetimes on Earth. The law of the conservation of energy states the total energy of a system remains constant. It can be converted, transferred or changed in form but not created or destroyed.
Forgive for Karma Balance
Therefore, it is important to shift your feelings of nonforgiveness to balance your karma and prevent any low vibrational karma from accumulating.
It is a downer to think you will come back to face a similar situation with that person until you resolve your karma with them in a high vibrational way which means with love, compassion, understanding and learning. Knowing you will need to come back again to balance your unforgiveness karma with that person or yourself and not doing anything to heal it is a form of self-sabotage.
Do you really want to do that to yourself?
Do you really want to experience a similar emotional disruption again with the same person in another lifetime though you both may be in different roles?
Think long-term. Take care of all of your emotional business and healing in this lifetime so you can reincarnate on Earth with a higher vibrational energetic blueprint. Ultimately, every person’s evolution is about ascending to the Higher Realms of Consciousness which is based on frequency. Non-forgiveness impedes this and keeps you back. So forgive easily and quickly, yourself and others.
It is impossible to be healthy and free when you keep yourself bound to the past. Be loving to yourself and forgive.
Everyone makes mistakes in life including ourselves but that doesn’t mean they or we have to pay for them the rest of our lives. Sometimes, “good” people make “bad” choices or choices you perceive to be wrongful. This could be done intentionally or in ignorance. It doesn’t mean they or you are “bad”. It means they are human and are still learning.
Isn’t it unfair to hold something against someone for a transgression or a series of transgressions in years past?
Would you want others to hold that against you?
Do you not desire forgiveness from certain people in your life? So extend that with grace to others.
Having a Bachelor of Arts in Mathematics, I created this equation to help in healing:
Forgiveness=Release=Letting Go=Self-Healing=Self Love.
What Forgiveness DOES Not Mean
Forgiveness does not mean you allow others to continue to abuse your, be cruel to you or mistreat you.
Forgiveness does not mean you need to hang out with someone or have them over to dinner.
Forgiveness does not mean engaging in a reconciliation, a physical reunion or ongoing physical interactions in business or in your personal life with them.
Forgiveness does not mean you need to regularly communicate with someone.
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, denying or suppressing what you have felt.
Forgiveness does not mean you accept, condone or validate the other person’s words or actions.
Forgiveness does not mean you trust the person.
Forgiveness does not mean you are weak.
Blocks to Forgiveness-Your Ego
It is your low vibrational ego that block forgiveness. Your human ego is a very strong, reactive mechanism. It has been conditioned over the many, many years of your life by all that is around you since you were born and further conditioned by your ancestry.
It is your ego that wants to continue to feel victimized, righteous and indignant. It is your ego that wants apologies, retributions and revenge. It is your ego that wants to keep score of rights and wrongs.
Nelson Mandela put it aptly when he said the following:
“You will achieve more in this world through acts of mercy than you will through acts of retribution.”
It is your ego that can hold a grievance for years and years and years. It is your ego that wants to blame people and acts of the past as to why you are not successful or happy in the present.
To quote Nelson Mandela again:
“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”
The Past is the Past
You cannot turn back the hands of time. It is what it is. I am sorry some of you went through or are going through difficult situations with difficult people, including your own families. Some souls have chosen very difficult soul lessons during this Earthly incarnation to acquire the divine attributes of compassion, fortitude, independence, inner strength or fortitude. But aren’t you tired of walking around feeling emotionally wounded and scarred? Don’t you want to move on in triumph and empowered by your new learnings?
Waiting for an Apology
It is a sign of strength to forgive someone who isn’t sorry and to detach from expecting an apology. Sometimes, people don’t give us the apologies we are waiting for and then they pass into the afterlife and we still don’t receive them. Some people because of their egos really get hung up on wanting to hear that apology.
Learning not to receive an apology with grace is part of life and everyone’s learning. Learn to give to yourself what you expect from others. Stop waiting for that apology that may never come. Emotionally heal yourself by forgiving.
Realize that some people, like your care givers and other key people did their best with what they knew at the time. How could they give to you what they never learned to receive themselves? So you see, certain low vibrational emotional patterns and behaviors are ancestral and just repeat in cycles. When you become aware and choose the higher ground, you can break out of these cycles and stop the loop not just for you but for your own family and future generations.
Some caregivers were unknowing and insensitive that you were processing information from them in that way and feeling hurt because you did not communicate that to them either because you were too young or didn’t know you could question them. Perhaps, you were taught to be a dutiful child and not question your elders.
People Who Are Intentionally Mean
Then there are some people in life who know full darn well the errancy of what they are doing but don’t change it. It is not due to how you perceive them. They can just be nasty people at times. They may be intentionally callous, mean and spiteful. Many times it is because they have unhappy lives without love and are projecting it out on innocent people around them. This is never an excuse or justification to mistreat others or be cruel.
It is what it is and you cannot control others. You can only control and choose your feelings.
If your nature is of one that gets easily hurt and is sensitive and you know you do not have the patience and deep levels of compassion required to deal with these type of personality types who are intentionally mean, limit your interactions and communications with them as much as possible. This is a form of self-love.
Do not become the martyr and try to help them if it comes at a high cost for you. But I know, there are very special, tender people out there who have been sent to Earth to help these lost, struggling souls, (Thank Goodness!) but you may not be one of those. And that is okay.
Know thyself! Know your limits. It does not mean you are not a loving person. You can still pray for them and send them love and light for their well-being and highest good from afar without directly engaging with them. This counts and is a form of love and beautiful service.
The Human Ego
Your human ego is a very strong, reactive mechanism. It has been conditioned over many, many years. Just being mindful of your inner emotional state and noting when you feel out of balance, creates an awareness of your ego when it is in play to help you move out of and dissipate it. Again, consistent, preferably daily practices of meditation and inner stillness can help create this self-awareness.
Desiring vengeance is a block to forgiveness. There are some who want to “get back” and “get even” at someone that wronged them. They want vengeance. In certain cultures, some even engage in putting curses on people. They don’t want to see this people doing well and feel they should be punished and deserve retribution. This is primal behavior.
Is this a reactive thought and behavioral pattern you possess? Be honest with yourself.
I am here to tell you to stop doing this. Stop it, now. It is emotionally immature, malicious, an indicator of excessive pride and low vibrational. An eye for an eye just makes the entire world blind. This is why there is not peace in the Middle East. I know earlier in the post I stated that you can’t tell someone to forgive but I am telling you now directly, if seeking revenge is your way, to stop it now. I felt guided to take this firm tone as I feel some readers may be engaging in these behaviors.
Find other ways to vent and release your feelings in a non-detrimental way. For example, journaling is a wonderful exercise. Reread the nine reasons above which I have carefully laid out for you to transform your thoughts.
The Universal Law of Karma Will Take Care of It
Respect the laws of energy. Know that Universal Law of Karma will take care of any necessary consequences to someone’s egregious words or behaviors. You do not have to take it upon yourself to control this. The Universe in its infinite organizational power works in mysterious ways. It may not be evident or clear to you how it applies the karma to the person or the situation. Do not worry if you don’t see it. The Universe may or may not want you to be privy to it.
Sit back and let karma take care of it. Trust the Universal Law of Karma. Respecting and living within the principles of Karma has personally helped me move through and on many a situation. It has taken the load and pressure off my back for me to “take care of things.”
Doesn’t letting the Universal Law of Karma do its work make it easier for you?
Of course, do communicate and set your boundaries in a diplomatic manner to educate people if you feel guided to do so. I have done this many a time. The power of self expression is an important function of your throat chakra. I always attempt to express in a high vibrational manner with love and compassion, rather than ranting, raving and with vitriol.
How Do You Know When You Truly Forgave?
Forgiveness means you can genuinely send yourself &/or the other person involved light, love and wish them well in their life journey without having any low vibrational emotional charge. You will know you truly forgave when you feel clear, light and nonreactive with the specific person or yourself. You do not need or even want or expect an apology, retribution or any kind of compensation.
The Power of Affirmations
Besides the forgiveness technique I shared earlier, I am a strong proponent of repeating positive affirmations. I know some do not like affirmations and feel they are futile and useless. I feel they have this opinion because they were not consistent enough in repeating them or perhaps did it only for a short time.
I had an entirely different experience with affirmations. The reiteration of them done in a quality manner of being present and heartfelt on a daily basis in the Spring of 2009 was one of the catapulting factors that spurred my spiritual awakening. I was very intense with them and studied and memorized them like I had prepared for the Certified Public Accounting (CPA) Exam. Therefore, affirmations are huge for me. Other prolific spiritual teachers like Louise Hay also support the saying of affirmations. Let me just say, they worked for me!
The quality of the way you do affirmations is key. Affirmations are most effective when repeated often during the day & evening for at least 21 days to yourself with heartfelt intention. I liked to repeat them three times a day. Best times to repeat are when you are very relaxed like before going to sleep, immediately upon waking up while still in bed & during meditations. Repetition with heartfelt intention over a period of time is the key to undo or rewrite over your limiting, conditioned & automatic thought responses.
You can repeat affirmations to yourself or out loud. If you say them out loud, it adds the extra amplification of sound energy.
Affirmations should be short, concise, positive and in the present tense as if they are already occurred. Make sure the verbiage and style of them are resonant to your own speaking style. For example, I have read some affirmations which are grandiose and flowery and that is not my communication style, so I chose other suitable affirmations.
You can also handwrite affirmations out daily to change your thought system. You can put them on post-its in the spaces you are in: on your bathroom mirror, refrigerator, car dashboard or use them as a smart phone or computer screen saver. You can create your own sound files and replay them to yourself. Any way that helps tickle your memory to the affirmation is useful.
The most important forgiveness affirmation to me and the one I shared earlier in this blog post is:
“I love myself.”
Another similar one is:
“I love myself now and into the future.”
Here are some other affirmations you may want to repeat daily:
“I believe in myself.”
“I move beyond forgiveness to understanding to have compassion and kindness for all, including myself.”
“I forgive myself and everyone in my life in the past.”
Here are some forgiveness affirmations which I channeled:
“I forgive myself and others entirely and acknowledge what I learned with gentleness. This is important for my growth and well-being.”
~Archangel Ariel, channeled by Katibe Simmone, 5/25/15
“I can recognize instantly those moments when I need to forgive myself and others.”
~ Archangel Uriel
“As I forgive myself, it becomes easier to forgive others.”
You can also come up with your own affirmations and include in them specific people. For example:
“I unconditionally forgive my sister, Nadine.”
The 2018 Universal Year Energy
The 11 energy of the 2018 (2+0+1+8=11) Universal Year is supporting you. Now, is the time to authentically forgive yourself and others.
As the duration of time increases till forgiveness, its low vibrational energy becomes more cemented and set into your energetic field causing detrimental impacts to your well-being. So forgive in a timely fashion. Amen!
I will end this post with the same beautiful quote, I started it with.
💚 “It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody.“~Maya Angelou
“Forgive yourself, as well.”~Katibe Simmone
Please know I am the only editor of this post so excuse any grammatical or editing errors. I do several editing passes before publishing but gosh darn it, there always seems to be some typos I overlooked! Because I gift this as a free resource for my readers as part of my soul’s service during this incarnation, I do not pay anyone to help me with the editing. Thank-you in advance for your understanding so please forgive me for any errors you may encounter!
Copyright © Katibe Simmone. All Rights Reserved. You may copy and redistribute this material, including excerpts as long as you do not alter it in any way, and the content remains accurate, is distributed freely or commercially, and you include this copyright notice and link: http://soulevolutioncenter.com/blog/ .
I am an advanced channeler of Light Beings. I provide guidance from many different Light Beings and shares their wisdom on my Facebook, blog, videos and in my free eBook. I am unique in that I channel these Beings word for word through telepathic means. They act as high level guides and teachers to help and inspire you on your life journey.
I had a spiritual awakening in 2009. I realized I was a spiritual being in a physical body for my highest spiritual evolution to becoming an expressed Divine Being in physical form. Because of this increased level of consciousness, my psychic centers and specific chakras like my Third Eye and Crown Chakra were activated. I developed heightened extrasensory perceptions such as clairvoyance, clairaudience and the ability to receive some information telepathically. Telepathy is a form of clairaudience, the psychic sense of hearing.
Because of my awakening my dream time also changed dramatically. As a result I became a lucid dreamer. I have blogged about and shared videos of some of my more extraordinary OBEs.
I heard telepathically to teach what I know. I have heard the word “tenzin” which means upholder of teachings in Tibetan a few times since my awakening. I founded Soul Evolution Center in February 2013 to help you evolve into your best life. I am a published author, speaker and workshop facilitator on various spiritual and metaphysical topics. I offer many developmental workshops and certifications that can be customized in private, small or large groups by webinar, Skype and teleconference.
Katibe (Katy) Simmone
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